These Advice shared by My Father That Rescued Us during my time as a First-Time Dad

"I think I was just just surviving for a year."

Former reality TV star Ryan Libbey thought he would to handle the difficulties of being a father.

However the truth rapidly turned out to be "completely different" to what he pictured.

Serious health problems surrounding the birth resulted in his partner Louise being hospitalised. All of a sudden he was pushed into becoming her main carer while also looking after their newborn son Leo.

"I was doing each nighttime feed, each diaper… every stroll. The job of both parents," Ryan explained.

After 11 months he reached burnout. It was a chat with his parent, on a park bench, that made him realise he required support.

The straightforward statement "You're not in a good spot. You require assistance. How can I help you?" created an opening for Ryan to talk openly, ask for help and start recovering.

His story is commonplace, but seldom highlighted. Although people is now more accustomed to discussing the pressure on mothers and about postpartum depression, far less attention is paid about the challenges dads encounter.

'It's not weak to seek assistance

Ryan feels his struggles are symptomatic of a broader inability to talk amongst men, who often absorb damaging notions of masculinity.

Men, he says, often feel they must be "the rock that just takes the pounding and remains standing time and again."

"It isn't a sign of weakness to ask for help. I didn't do that quick enough," he explains.

Therapist Dr Jill Domoney, a expert who studies mental health pre and post childbirth, explains men can be reluctant to admit they're finding things difficult.

They can believe they are "not the right person to be requesting help" - most notably in front of a mum and baby - but she stresses their mental state is vitally important to the family.

Ryan's heart-to-heart with his dad gave him the chance to ask for a break - taking a few days overseas, away from the domestic setting, to gain perspective.

He understood he required a adjustment to focus on his and his partner's feelings as well as the logistical chores of taking care of a infant.

When he shared with Louise, he discovered he'd overlooked "what she longed for" -physical connection and listening to her.

Self-parenting

That realisation has reshaped how Ryan sees being a dad.

He's now composing Leo weekly letters about his feelings as a dad, which he aspires his son will look at as he matures.

Ryan believes these will assist his son better understand the vocabulary of feelings and make sense of his approach to fatherhood.

The concept of "self-parenting" is something rapper and songwriter Professor Green - also known as Stephen Manderson - has also strongly identified with since becoming a dad to his son Slimane, who is now four.

When he was young Stephen did not have consistent male guidance. Even with having an "amazing" connection with his dad, profound emotional pain meant his father found it hard to cope and was "coming and going" of his life, complicating their bond.

Stephen says repressing emotions led him to make "poor actions" when in his youth to alter how he felt, turning in substance use as escapism from the pain.

"You turn to behaviours that are harmful," he notes. "They might short-term modify how you are feeling, but they will eventually exacerbate the problem."

Strategies for Coping as a New Dad

• Talk to someone - if you feel overwhelmed, tell a friend, your spouse or a professional about your state of mind. This can to reduce the stress and make you feel less isolated.
• Remember your hobbies - make time for the pursuits that helped you to feel like yourself before the baby arrived. This might be exercising, seeing friends or a favourite hobby.
• Don't ignore the physical health - eating well, physical activity and if you can, sleep, all are important in how your mental state is doing.
• Connect with other first-time fathers - listening to their experiences, the messy ones, as well as the good ones, can help to put into perspective how you're feeling.
• Know that asking for help isn't failing - looking after you is the most effective way you can care for your household.

When his father eventually died by suicide, Stephen understandably found it hard to accept the passing, having not spoken to him for a long time.

Now being a father himself, Stephen's committed not to "continue the chain" with his boy and instead offer the security and emotional support he missed out on.

When his son is about to have a tantrum, for example, they try "releasing the emotion" together - processing the feelings constructively.

The two men Ryan and Stephen say they have become better, healthier men due to the fact that they confronted their issues, transformed how they express themselves, and figured out how to control themselves for their sons.

"I'm better… processing things and handling things," explains Stephen.

"I expressed that in a message to Leo the other week," Ryan shares. "I expressed, on occasion I believe my job is to guide and direct you what to do, but in reality, it's a exchange. I am discovering an equal amount as you are on this path."